Reflection

A lot of people tell me to journal during this time in my life. I understand what they are saying and someday I will wish I wrote and journaled, however, I am finding it hard to want to write about the frustrations, pain and fears. Unfortunately those are the dominate emotions I have right now. I don’t want to wallow in self-pity and the last thing I want to do is provide a sad place to relive in the form of a journal.

I think many moms of premature babies feel the same way or no one would say, “I wish I had journaled more while he/she was in the hospital.”

What I do want to remember is our triumphs.

The first time I held him.

The first time his Daddy held him.

The first… and the second time the blue light came off.

The first… and the second time his canual came off.

His first bath with water.

When he reached 4 pounds.

The first time he took a bottle.

 

Those feelings of joy and unbelievable pride are what I want to remember.   

Although the last few weeks have been tough, Charlie is doing so much better. All of the clichés are true. We will be home in no time. It will be okay. Everything will work out. There is a reason for everything. We will look back at this time in our lives and remember the good and forget about the bad.

However, I will never forget giving birth without drugs… but that is a story for another post.

Two Things I Love

Two things I love:

1. Sisters

2. Hand-me-downs

They go together like peanut butter and jelly. Beans and cornbread. Chocolate and cake. Blueberry and cobbler. Can you tell I’m pregnant?

Just like my sister did, I have the opportunity to help Sara, my sister-in-law, out with some hand-me-downs as she ventures out on her own.

And although hand-me-downs began when we were kids, my sister, Chrisy,  continues to the tradition.

Thank goodness. Babies are expensive!

Best Day Ever... Seriously

My hips hurt. I get a migraine every two weeks on average. Heartburn has become the norm. I’ve developed allergies and sinus problems. My nose is dry and has become raw. 

Despite my lack of pain tolerance, my mama stays true to form and gives me no pity. She says I need to be more positive and stop whining.

Easier said than done… except for today. Today was the best day ever… seriously. Marc and I had our 21 week ultrasound. The fact that my instincts were right and we are having a baby boy was not my favorite part. In fact, I cannot narrow down my favorite part to just one…it’s more like five.

- Baby Charlie is healthy.

- Although I still can’t feel him, we watched him wiggle and squirm. He kept sticking out his tongue and licking his lips. So cute.

- Marc did not stop smiling.

- We called our families and told them we are having a boy. They are all so excited (except for Brylee. She cried because she wanted a girl LOL – she’s three years old.)!

- I once again realized that I’m a mom.

Today was life-changing and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Meet Charlie.

Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time there was a girl who didn’t want to grow up. She didn’t understand love and she rolled her eyes at anyone who “settled down.” Then she met the man of her dreams at the young age of 24, was married by 25, bought a house the same year and became pregnant at 27.

During her second trimester of pregnancy she discovered hormones. While driving home one evening from work, she listened to every word of the song “You’re Gonna Miss This” by Trace Adkins. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

But you're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this

She pulled over because the tears had whelped up in her eyes so much she could not see to drive. She kept asking herself, “Am I going to miss this? Have I rushed things? Am I not enjoying my life as it is today?”

Then she realized two things…

1. I am hormonal.

2. The song is about a teenager and I am 27.

She giggled a little, then drove the rest of the way home.

The end.

In case you are wondering, this song is not about me…really…

Family and Friends…It Takes a Village

I don’t know what I would do without my family and friends. It takes a village to take care of me. No joke.

My mom should get one of those mugs that say “#1 Mom” for being the voice of reason when choosing flooring and a vendor to install it.

Chad should get a Medal of Honor for helping move furniture and putting up with Marc’s OCDness.

Aaron and Jamie should get some sort of crisis management certification for solving my crisis in the middle of a Melody Meltdown. Did I mention they also gave us a bed to put our head down while our bed was in the garage?

And Chuck, my father-in-law. Bless his heart. Without hesitation, he drove two hours to help out with the whole situation. He helped my husband out physically with preparing the floors. He is still babysitting the house while installation is occurring. After the floors are done he is staying to put the furniture back in place. But above all, he also helped both of us out mentally and emotionally. There is something about having two-like-minds working together versus two-opposite-minds. Opposites attract in relationships…NOT home improvements.

I can’t forget everyone I have vented to about this entire process. Don’t think your favor to society is overlooked. You will get your reward in heaven.

I am very VERY blessed to have friends and family that takes care of me. Someday I will return the favor… in some form or fashion. In the meantime, I hope you do not ignore my phone calls. I will try to keep the favors to a minimum…except for Chad. 

P.S.

Vote if it’s a boy or a girl.

Boy vs Girl

Please take the poll to the right and tell me what you think I am having.

(I don't like posts without photos. So I am blessing you with this photo of 
my niece, Brylee, and nephew, Broc.)

Happy [Expectant] Father’s Day

My husband is a kind soul. He listens to the rules and understands the unspoken ones – specifically the one about getting a pregnant wife a gift for Mother’s Day.

Here is my gift.

I love Willow Tree.

He knows that.

Now what do I get him for Father's Day???